Going to see Cloud/Atlas with my mum.
Eating dinner with my family at my favourite Mexican food restaurant.
Going bowling after.
I am going to try to enjoy it.
In truth, I am struggling a lot with stopping my brain from just constantly re-living the 25th, 26th, 27th of October 2009. When we found the tumor. When my life changed completely, and my world stopped on its axis.
When my future and dreams were stripped away by a connected group of rogue cells 9cmx5cmx3cm.
Tomorrow will be my first birthday as a Widow. My first birthday without my husband.
Today is even one minute at a time.
I have some great friends who sent me a LEGO set and Fringe.
If anyone is wanting to send me a little "birthday" something, I do have a amazon wishlist, or the Fundly Site is still running for another two weeks. I do still need to figure out some monetary needs for his memorial service, and to cover back the cost of his body removal/cremation. Not surprisingly, his family did not help with that. Thankfully, we found a place to take care of it as "cost" so it was only a bit over $600... but as I still have not even received my $225.00 "funeral" settlement from Social Security... there are stresses.
Now is not the time to talk about those issues though. That just leads me to a place of hurt, anger, and betrayal.
I've been painting a bit more, trying to take a walk each day, get myself out of the house and bed.
I'm starting to forget what he smelled like.