The nightmares have started.
Me forever chasing after him; only seeing his back, never having him turn around to face me, thinking he cannot hear me as I chase after him in a very dimly lit hall.
The water comes up at camp, we are all in one cabin together and then in a flash of lightening outside I see him; swimming against the current, drowning.
I am quite worried if these nightmares continue.
I'm still not getting "good" solid sleep yet, and this just scares me away from the bed completely.
The kitties remain ok. They're getting used to all the changes; Leto will still stay by the door if I'm downstairs, but he's pretty clingy still and does not like leaving my side unless he is playing with his sister.
Aelphie has been quiet now for about two weeks; no crying from her.
She also as the oldest cat, and mine, knew Wash before he was sick. She smelled the first changes in him. I think this might be easier for her to cope with right now than me, or Leto.
Leto I don't think he quite understands yet his dad is not coming back.
I've painted a little more. Cleaned.
I'm pretty much done with closing stuff for Wash; I have to make confirmation calls this week that everyone got the papers last week, but one tiny benefit of dying young and poor is the "estate" as it were is taken care of pretty fast.
Which means I am now officially "unemployed".
That word is almost as scary as hearing Wash's name right now.
I can't type anymore today.