So I had asked Wash to do ONE thing Saturday (make a call to an automated number to find something out) and he (should have known) did not do it. I reminded him first thing when he woke today about it and he FLIPPED THE FUCK OUT on me. He thought today was Saturday and I was messing with him. He remembers "yesterday" but has no association anymore with "when" things are; the days are now a concept to him it seems; even having calendars around doesn't help much. I talked rationally to him for a bit, but I'm really not sure how much he understands or how much he really comprehends right now. I cried for a min in my bedroom. He is not the same, he is not "himself". The man I love comes and goes, and most of the time a very selfish and shell of a person is left for me to just literally take care of. I am and sad and miss my husband.
Some mornings are just shit.
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venting is always a good thing!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you have this venue to vent! I've been catching up with your story since a mention at ThinkGeek. My Mom was diagnosed with GBM Nov 2008 and fought until March 2011. We did lose HER (the real Mom, her personality) starting in the second year. For me that was the hardest part: I lost my Mom a long time before her body gave up. So I remember my Mom BBT and ABT. My Dad was her caregiver through the whole thing, actually starting with her second cancer (bladder, 2001), but of course GBM required much more care. Many arguments about events, dates, days...
ReplyDeleteYou are a phenomenal woman, and you are not alone! I wish I could do more than encourage you.