Monday, March 5, 2012

Eye of the Hurricane

I had a Migraine appear yesterday. This was about my 5th ever- I started getting them a few years ago when I turned 19. "Painful" and "Horrible" are very light words for this.

It was as intense as my gallbladder melting. It felt like Athena trying to hack her way out of my head.

So, Wash spent almost 4 hours playing with his Hospice Volunteer yesterday and we had Andy* and another girl-friend of mine come over for Walking Dead BINGO.

I'm going to try to write about Sunday morning in a bit. It was a hard few hours; Wash did not know what day it was and was so aggressive to me when I tried to tell him that it was Sunday, not Saturday. He remembered what happened but just could not put the TIME together with the ACTION. It was a real hard startling chance for me to see how his brain cancer, GBM, really effects him.
It was painful for me, in more than just his yelling or his nasty Not-Wash words.
I hate seeing him that confused. That hurt. That scared.


  1. My husband is almost 80 and has a number of illnesses. I also find that he is confused about what day it is. It is very distressing when that happens. I have a lot of sympathy for you. At least we had a number of decades before things sort of fell apart. I feel bad that you had so little time with the man you married before this terrible illness took him over. I can only let you know that you are not the only one who hurts like this. It seems that people we thought were friends vanish when serious illness enters our lives. I have been surprised by the people who care as well as those I have not heard a word from. Seems like we find out how people really are when the chips are down. I have great admiration for you and the way you are handling this.

  2. My heart hurts for you. I care for my mom who is 84, and have watched her slip away over the last couple of years.

    It is so hard to take the anger and terror when she is in that pit of confusion, knowing full well who she is and who we are, but not knowing what day it is nor whether things that transpired are real or imagined. She thinks she has done things that she has not, she also does not know she has done things (like re-arrange the furniture) that she has truly done.

    You are doing a hero's job. Bless you and yours.