Friday, September 14, 2012

You...You were Fantastic!

"Death cannot stop True Love; it can only delay it for a while."

"I love you, Wash."
"As you Wish, Tashi."

Thank you all for your kind words.

Wash was a Saganist and a Doctor Who lover.
He knew he came from stardust and atoms, and he knew he was going back to that.

His energy is not gone, or destroyed. Just... wibbly wobbly a bit away from MY linear time.

Wash is the only person I know who made it almost 3 decades of life... with not a bad thought or word to be said about him. He was beyond special. Beyond unique.
He was more than my 1 in 6,000,000,000.

He resonated in my soul. He kept my heart beating.

And I know he would think it is no greater honor than to introduce all of you to the wonders of the Whoverse and Science Fiction.
His fraternity brother made the comment, "He was a geek evangelist!" ... he was.
He wanted everyone to love his shows and movies with the same passion he had.

Right now, every time I see a TARDIS... I tell him I love him.
Somewhere in Time and Space, he is out there now.


  1. Ah Lafy.

    That was beautiful. I know that he feels your peace about that and it gives him his. Keep that faith - you are always connected.

  2. Love Tashi, Love. It turns out that "The Wedding of River Song" was the next episode in our que on Wednesday night. I didn't know this until it turned on. I watched it with you and your Wash in mind, the little bit of your life that I'm privy too. It made the episode so meaningful and I can only imagine the peace it could have given to him that night. I'm glad my Dr. Who joke made him laugh that one night, it really makes me smile.

    I wish I knew what was next for you. I guess River would wag her finger and say "Spoilers". I hope in the dark moments right now you can remember that you have all the wibbly wobbly bits of space and time behind you and ready to carry you until you can make it on your own.

    <3 MMD

  3. I found this blog through Regretsy Wednesday, and I've been reading it non-stop. Your story is heart wrenching, and makes me hope that someday I'll find a love as pure and strong as what you and your husband had.

    I know the last few years have been tough. I took care of someone close to me who had advanced MS, and though the comparison is not even close, it was a sliver of what you've been through and I wouldn't wish even my sliver on anyone else. The personality changes, especially. Never forget that he loved you, even though the cancer made him unable to express that near the end. His heart and soul still knew it.

    I hope that your heart heals and you can find joy in the world again, no matter how long it may take. I will keep you in my thoughts.

  4. A beautiful tribute. I am praying strength and peace for you.

    And yes, because of your story, I am going to be looking at Dr. Who. I also believe this is a change in energy, not an end of energy.

    You both have changed many lives for the better, forever. You are amazing.

  5. Everything you've said here reflects my own beliefs about death and what happens next, and I truly do believe that Wash's energy is burning brightly somewhere and that it'll be with you for all the rest of your days.

    I also do truly hope and wish that when you get through your grieving and past this particular dark night of the soul, whatever happens next for you is amazing.

  6. I found you through the Regretsy blog and just wanted to say how moved I am by your and Wash's story. I'm sending you thoughts of peace and caring from Malaysia.

    Take good care of yourself over the next weeks and months; you have cared so much for Wash and I hope that you are now able to care for yourself with the same kind of love you showed to him.

  7. Tashi,

    I've been away from the blog world for some time now but yours is the first I have caught up on.

    i have no words other than, I understand and feel the pain you're going through.

    I know right now you will be overwhelmed with messages, cherish them because they will help you through the days, weeks and months to come.

    Sending you much love, hugs and the promise of brighter days in the future.

    xxx Mark xxx

  8. Tashi,

    First of all, let me express my condolences again. I've thought of you so much this week, and I continue to hope for strength for you in this tough time (you've already proved your's just a different kind of strength you'll need at this time).

    I just want you to know that, in a little way, Wash was a bit of a geek evangelist in MY life! A bunch of my friends are Doctor Who fans, and I'd been putting off watching it until this week. Then, just before your post about how Wash's last conscious moments, my husband and I decided to start watching the Doctor on Netflix. There were other people suggesting I watch it in my life, but a little bit of my push to watch came from you and Wash, too. When I read your post about Sunday, in addition to feeling sorrow about the general situation, I wept because I GOT IT. I got how beautiful the choice to spend an eternity in the Tardis was. I understood how the show could create such a bond between you two. It was like this extra layer of understanding and sadness and appreciation for Wash and your journey.

    I know this sounds sort of like an "all about me" statement, but I want you to know that the geek evangelist really is such a perfect description. I think it's so beautiful that he was able to live out that part of his calling SO well.

    Please know that someone here in Kentucky is thinking of you and wishing you well. You and Wash have inspired me so much, and I am so lucky to have witnessed your love on this blog.


  9. Very beautiful indeed.

  10. Hi Tashi,

    I'm so glad you posted this. I've been worried about you. This was such a beautiful post.

    And I should point out that I finally started watching Dr. Who about two and a half weeks ago because of the blog (I needed to finally get some of the references here). Wash might have been the most successful geek evangelist of our times--think of all the Whovians came about because of him!

  11. He was fantastic... But so were you. I worry about you... Don't give up on life. life may surprise you. I am an Aspie. I struggle with depression. But I don't give up, and neither should you.

    Geek evangelist. I like that. I will use that.

    Hang in there. Do that for me. Please.

  12. Tashi,
    I can stop thinking about you and Wash. I was up until 4 a.m. last night watching your Youtube, watching you turn into a loving wife and caregiver, watching that fucking bastard cancer take over your beautiful beautiful husband. I don't know how to help you, I want to, so bad. I keep hearing Wash say "I think I'm going to pass soon." I put myself in that room with the both of you. You just went through the worst thing you will ever have to experience in the rest of your life. You did it, you made it. Now, it's time for Tashi. Wash is waiting for you, have an awesome adventure on his own, until you two meet again. Please, if you ever want to chat with a 31 year old women in Chicago, with 33 year old husband with stage 4 Hodgkins Lymphoma, please email me. I would love to bash cancer with you, help eachother even.

  13. I forgot to mention in my first post that I have heard about Dr. Who for a while, but this blog is what has prompted me to start watching it. I'm sure I will become a fast fan like everyone else.

  14. Shoot, I don't even enjoy scifi and I'm thinking of giving Dr. Who a try, in large part because of this blog. Thanks, Wash.

  15. I am still at a loss for words over Wash's passing. It brings tears to my eyes every time I think about the two of you. This post is the perfect example of why the internet/geek communities reached out to you both: you are an amazing person and, as you tell it, Wash was extraordinary. I wish that I'd had a chance to meet him, but your videos and posts made it so easy to fall in love with you guys. I say again, please take care of yourself and keep us updated as to your needs and well-being. Every time I see a TARDIS, I will also think of Wash. Stay strong until you meet again, where and whenever that may be. <3 Much love.

  16. I'm gonna sit down and finish the most recent season of Doctor Who in honor of Wash. I've been putting it off and putting it off.. I last remember the episode 'Let's kill Hitler!'.

    In honor of my fellow Whovian, and if I could have the honor of counting myself among them even though I've only watched Firefly once, Browncoat and in honor of you Tashi. I was a caretaker for my father during his battle with colon cancer though I only did the night shift with him. Though I miss him.. sometimes more than others.. sometimes not at all.. I know that he was in much pain and he was not himself when the cancer came and in took him. I felt so much relief when he passed because I knew he no longer suffered.

    To beloved Wash, a man who inspired many to seek their imaginations, and to his beloved Tashi who in turn inspired so many to love beyond just words. Thank you for sharing your story.

  17. I told my newly minted 12 year old about Wash, and his Tardis, as we were putting the finishing touches on her (requested) 3-D Tardis birthday cake.

    I've kept up with your blog in fits and starts, having found it when a friend's husband was dying of stage IV melanoma. You have been a fantastic companion to your time lord, who is off on a new adventure... and you have to wait... and live your life, which may prove to be every bit as hard as what has come before.

    Make sure you reach out to people... they're there for you. Also, when you're ready, check these folks out: and I also read here:

    Many {{{{{{{hugs}}}}} and blessings.

  18. From what I've read on your blog, Wash was amazing and so are you. You two were a perfect match!! My thoughts and well wishing still your way. ::hugs::