Thursday, September 20, 2012

Memorial Service

Stream-lining the information for Wash's memorial service.

It will be December 8th, 2012 at a location just North of Phoenix, AZ. [It's about a 40 min drive from central Phoenix]

Please add me on FB [and send a message you are from the blog] or send me an email if you would like more specific information to attend.


To that end, Wash had asked his guest not wear traditional "Reservoir Dogs" type suits. He wanted colors, and I can imagine he would be please as well if anyone chose to Cos-Play and dress as someone from Doctor Who / Firefly/ BSG.
Wear a Jayne hat if you have one.

More details will come as the plans are all settled and confirmed. Wash had made me promise not to make anyone come out to Arizona in the "110+ F degree heat!"

He also made me promise to buy something pretty and new for the occasion. I don't really care about clothes... at all. He knew this. I think that is why he was so specific. So, I am either to find a lovely new Sari to wear, or Kaylee's pink dress from "Shindig".

I am hoping my asthma will be cleared up enough by then to be able to play his Didgeridoo. I mean, I have my own, but I never played his, and this seems like a good occasion to do so.
I loved that about him; someone else who not only loved to listen to bagpipes, but played and owned Didgeridoos. [Yes, I am aware of the cultural issues of a female playing the instrument, not the time for that discussion]

I think I will also be checking to find a way to live-broadcast the service online for his friends around the globe who can't make it there. He would have loved that.

I'm trying to keep busy, without being on my foot.
I got in to see a surgeon/specialist next week, so for now I just stay off it as much as I can, and wear Das Boot. I did a little more cleaning, and hope to have some help come over this weekend to clean out the downstairs bath (which he had to use for safety) so it can be a functioning guest bathroom again, and clean up the kitchen so all the pills can go away... I can use my counters again, get rid of the excess food for him; his meat, special stuff, certain teas. I will probably pass along some of the excess plate-wear as well... why do I as a single person now need service for 12?
Small steps. Soon I'll set out some boxes for certain friends and start filling them with his stuff like he wanted. I think the/our bedroom will be the last thing I do. I'm not ready yet to change it so much. I do want and need to pass along all his really nice clothes to the local places that give them to folks who need nice clothes for interviews/work. Before he got sick he was a fastidious dresser and I know (we'd talked) he wanted someone else to benefit.
I'm keeping his "Wash" Hawai'ian shirt though. I will probably never give that one up.

The cats are slowly adjusting. They both sleep a lot closer together and play fight maybe once a day now, not several times. Aelphie has even on a few time been caught grooming Leto's tail. They don't seem to like to be left alone though, they follow me around the house to every room.

I might make a video update later; it would give me a reason to shower and brush my hair.


  1. My heart hurts for you.
    Know that I am amazed by the strength and grace you've got. In your situation a lesser woman would have been crushed. You are amazing. You are a stranger I truely admire.
    I wish I had something poetic or helpful to say, but I don't. So know that I am deeply sorry for your loss and will keep you in my thoughts.

  2. I feel the ache and the emptiness in your posts from this tragic loss. Know that to the best of our ability we are all with you in spirit if not in the flesh. You showed more courage and love then a person of your tender years should have to do and you handled it with grace and love for your soul mate. I applaud you Tashi and pray for your soul to find peace. Keeping good thoughts for you.

  3. My heart goes out to you. I hope that in the coming days and weeks you are able to get the rest you need, especially so your foot can heal as well are your heart. It's never going to be the same, but that isn't the point. I hope that you are able to find a way to stream the memorial service, I can ask around and see if any of my tech savvy friends know how that might be accomplished if you'd like. I know I would tune in. Sending good vibes and positive thoughts your way as you go through this rough time.

  4. Lots of love for you.. lots of good thoughts..

  5. It is possible to stream it Tashi, with a newer cellphone and data plan, along with the apps from UStream. I'd offer my services but I don't have a data plan on my phone.

    40 minutes from central Phoenix sounds like Lake Pleasant. If that is where it's going to be, that time of year right there is beautiful.

  6. {{Hugs}}, Tashi, and some virtual catnip for the kitties.

  7. Tashi, AFTER (too much) tragedy in my own Family............ (as your own tragedy in losing dear Wash is profoundly, p.r.o.f.o.u.n.d.l.y. too much tragedy, too)............ which has also sadly been experienced by some of my first cousins, whom I grew up with............ (e.g., with~~among other things~~the abduction/murder of one cousin's 29-year-old young wife; the death of a female cousin's twin daughters, one at age 2, and the other at age 18, both from Cystic Fibrosis; then the suicide of another female cousin's 31-year-old only son)............ these are just some thoughts (Below), borne of those tragedies, that my first cousins, and their families, found to be helpful while being faced with overwhelming grief themselves. (And, by the way, to me, these aren't stereotypically "hausfrau"-ish............ but very *Life*-affirming instead!!):

    #1) GARDENING. Being out in nature, particularly gardening............ (as you know from having your own small garden out back)............ can soothe the soul like nothing else. I remember your writing about how you liked to share the produce from your garden~~(e.g., particularly basil leaves for your mum!!)~~and how you talked about "The 'Goodness' Of A Garden," i.e., in how a garden can *f.e.e.d.* you............ not only physically, but also spiritually, too.

    I also remember crying for you & Wash when your little garden was destroyed; sobbing that your grandmother's bell pepper plant and her antique ornamental glass bowls were gone............ yet beyond-relieved that the throne Wash had welded for you - "For my Queen" - was/is still in your backyard and not gone, too.

    "Flowers are sunshine, food, and medicine to the soul." ---Luther Burbank

  8. (Cont'd)............

    #2) COOKING. Reading about how you enjoyed (as you said, Tashi) "making my home smell *delicious*"............ such as with your Crock-Pot Stew; or with your challah bread; or with your sweet orange rolls............ made me envious (no kidding!!) that you could be SO-darn-skilled at SO many things!!

    Yesterday, I know that you questioned your need (as a single person now) for having a Plateware Service for 12; BUT............ even as an Aspie............ I can see (in the future) your having caring friends over for potluck dinners, for which you'll NEED plates, you know. You're just so, *so* much stronger now, Tashi----(you've H.A.D. to be!!)----than you were when you started writing "Learning to Hope."

    Although your very hard-won "Transformation By Fire" (if you will) was almost inevitable, I still honestly *marvel* at............ how genuinely s.t.r.o.n.g. you have become. So, (if you can), maybe start really using your Calphalon cake/dessert cookware and storage set again, i.e., by baking some cakes; brownies; cookies; and/or pies............ and I think "the hungry will come"!! And if you offer............ (as you always, a.l.w.a.y.s. do, Tashi)............ listening and *c.a.r.i.n.g.*, too............ your friends, I KNOW, will then be reluctant to want to............ ever even leave your place............ for their own!!

    #3) WRITING and ART. What can I say??!! Anyone who has a framed print of Renoir's "Dance at Bougival"............ (i.e., I noticed it right away on your wall, in your post of Sunday, April 8, 2012!!)............ just *l.o.v.e.s.* art.

    And writing?? You write better about what is............ *real*............ and *important*............ and genuinely *precious* in Life............ than just about anyone I know. Your coping with Wash's passing will be (in a way) similar to riding a roller coaster............ (i.e., some moments will be better than others, some much worse)............ but you're a whole lot, Tashi, like our mutual (Neuro CCU nurse) friend in TX who loves to............ write, garden, and cook; who loves the Arts............ and who also is a *t.r.u.e.* survivor. 'Just like you are, too, Tashi, hands-down.

    {{{*Hugs*}}} to you........................

  9. You're doing a great job lady!!! ::hugs:: Just keep those happy memories!

  10. I am late to the party, as always, but I just found your blog a couple of days ago and have read it straight through from the beginning until now. My word, what strength and tenacity you have. I am in awe of you and what you have endured over the past three years. I don't know if what I say is of much comfort, but I am so sorry for your loss, and while he is in a better place, please take care of yourself and get you in a better place as well. It will be a long, tough road, but from what I've read, I know you will prevail.

    Much love from Central Phoenix.

  11. I will be there in spirit ~

    Keeping you in my heart & thoughts; love yourself.

  12. While I will unfortunately not be able to attend in person, the date is on the calendar I'll be dressing for Wash on 12/8. Not sure exactly what costume I'll be wearing but I'll send pictures... and anyone who comments or asks about said costume will be treated to The Story of Wash and Tashi, as told by a total stranger whose life was deeply touched by two strong, beautiful people via the internet. I wish I could do more.

    Lots of love and hugs,
    TG and the Wild Bunch

  13. I sent you a little gift in the mail, but I forgot to write CF4L on the envelope. I hope you got it, and it made you smile