So, for now, my garden is "done". [Maybe one more veggie or light set...]
I planted all the summer flowers and pulled up the winter bulbs to store away 'til Oct. I have new pepper varieties, new tomatoes, strawberries, herbs.... I have a little solar light turtle, and glass water bulbs to go in some containers. There is new bright colours ALL OVER the back garden. I also got new solar lights on the umbrella, so at night it looks like stars! I got rid of the trash (except the bikes, I want to donate those) and put in new lights around where the wild mint is growing. I'll put pics up after Wash sees it on the off chance he's checking my blog from his Hospice library.
I already cleaned the kitchen and fridge and I'm purposely not cleaning the living room or office. The bedroom is about the same. I'm doing MY laundry so it's done.
I have breakfast leftover, and my friend is taking brunch to Wash in a half hour.
I slept about 7 hours last night, but I'll have a chance for a nap before we get Wash this afternoon.
Time for one more Harry Potter, I think.
I had a good chance to get some rest, to get some things done, to clean, to laugh, to treat myself.
I had my nails done with one of my best girl-friends. I got to have a LONG phone conversation with an old friend. I got to sleep on the whole bed.
I missed Wash, to be sure. A lot. Perhaps not as much as Leto... that cat pretty much has stayed 4 days waiting at the front door for Wash to come home.
I will need more time again, this I know. I will need more rest.
I needed this break though. I needed the time to stay sane, to come back out of depression and Sneaky-Hate-Spiral.
I perhaps don't feel "happy" per se, but I no longer feel vast emptiness. I can see Hope again. I can see myself alive and as an independent person after Wash dies, for I think the first time.
I also feel stronger to be kinder and patient. I needed that.
This was a good thing.
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It sounds like the weekend respite was just the ticket. I am so glad for you. Including this kind of offering in the overall design of hospice care is really good.
ReplyDeleteI am so happy that you are feeling better, and Wash-your Wash-will be happy too.
ReplyDelete#1) I'm *so* glad, Tashi, that your Four Days Of Rest & Rejuvenation went well!! I honestly don't know HOW you personally have "stood up to" the Constant 24/7 Caregiving Stress for so long----(i.e., with only brief respite help provided to you from family/friends).
ReplyDeleteIt might actually be *very prudent* to talk with Wash's Social Worker now about scheduling another Four-Day Respite for you, i.e., since you already KNOW you'll need more time again. Doing so would clearly give you something to look FORWARD to; and doing so would also maybe even give you an opportunity to make some very LOW-KEY (purely-recreational) plans for yourself, too. ('Just sayin', only just sayin', you know).
#2) After reading this particular *Strong And Hopeful* post that you've written here, this quotation----(directly Below, that I've saved from a Hallmark E-Card!)----came to mind, i.e., as *a genuinely complimentary description* I have about you now, Tashi:
WISER......for each question you've answered.
BRAVER.....for each challenge you've met.
RICHER.....for each gift you've given.
STRONGER...for each helping hand you've offered.
{{{*Hugs*}}} to you & Wash both -
Heh, "Sneaky Hate Spiral". I get the reference!
ReplyDeleteGlad you're getting some respite. :)