He's been in a fairly ok mood lately, but severe short term memory loss. Things happen and his brain just fills it in however he can. He's almost incapable of asking for help now.
He's been eating less and less for the past couple of days. Seems about 3 snack sized "meals". He likes to eat breakfast still; but I honestly wonder if that is not because it is ingrained into his routine; "I have to take pills, I have to wash my face, I have to eat" type of stuff.
I have a lot of good tasty stuff he still can/likes to eat around here. There are healthy things too, but, with what is going on and the Nurse's advice, I'm no longer pushing or reminding him to eat.
It's his body. He is just taking less and less more in.
He spends a lot of time with LEGO sets now, movies, and he's trying very hard to finish a Cherie Priest book. I don't push him or remind him about naps anymore (he had one before TDKR, but I wanted to make sure he'd be awake for the whole movie) and I need to extend that to his food too.
He hasn't been "out" for a walk (longer than front door to mailbox) in a few weeks. He's not strictly bedbound yet, he can still move around some, but he says there is less each day to wake and fight for.
August 6th is his birthday. I know he wants to live long enough to see 28 years.
This part is so hard. Letting go.
I've spent 34/35 some odd months working to keep him alive and happy, and now, my focus has to just be his happiness at the end.
Hospice P. is coming over this afternoon, I've asked him to help Wash dis-assemble his large 4" (diam) telescope so we have more room downstairs for him. After that they can work on Helms Deep for LOTR LEGO.
Thank you to everyone who has been sending us postcards, LEGOs for Wash, and kind thoughts and prayers. Thank you to the few people who have been in shoes very much like mine who have reached out. My heart aches you know this pain as well, but I see the kindness in reaching out to remind me I'm not alone. Thank you.
We got rain yesterday. The kitties were happy. Aelphie has been like superglue next to me over the last few days, and Leto too has been making sure he's not more than a metre away from Wash at any one time. I think they know something is off. Lots more cuddles and more cat hair on everything. Worth it.
I spent three days fixing my filter pump in the big fish tank, then those 3 days spent cleaning out the tank over and over from all the algae growth, the dead fish (2 died. I have not told Wash and he has not noticed.) and the gunk that built up from the pump not working.
Thankfully for now I did not have to buy a new pump, only disassemble it and clean it.
However, sadly, I did have to get a new light-block after ours locked into the "on" setting and would not stop flickering. So, clean tank and new lights for the fish. I keep the decorations for the tank on a rotation so when they get dirty, I have clean ones ready to go and can dry/clean the rest in our hot direct sun.
I also cleaned out the baby tank and transferred over the 3 living fry from the baby "pot" to the fry tank. 2 of them were up and swimming, the 3rd not so much. With fry though, they can be tricky, so I won't think it's dead until I observe it not moving for a full day or being eaten.
Fish-keeping helps my mind sometimes. I'm not getting more, just replacing the few that died, so my school doesn't shrink and die off even more.
Hour by hour, I'm trying.
I'm hoping he will be feeling well enough this week to Skype with some friends and cousins. He's wanted to for a while, but gets too tired before I get the chance to set it up.