I've been resting a lot and trying to think about the "next step" with all of this, our lives.
I never heard back from (awful) MSW last week. Or even Monday.
He wants to meet today.
I have to try and be calm, but my inclination is to yell him the fuck out at not responding to my page for him Wed, the 2-3 calls I left Thurs, the 2 voicemails I left Friday as well....
I am not happy with that area of Hospice. Everything else they are awesome. But our most recent Medical Social Worker is just.... patriarchal.
Neither Wash nor I are happy/get along with this guy.
I also spent most of yesterday while I was in bed working to sniff out a (brain cancer) faker. No, I will not link to anything right now, I'd rather not give the person more attention, which is their goal.
The anger I felt though, that someone would fake something so horrible that has personally effected me- it was more than eclipsed when the person was exposed at the very very very least as a lair about brain cancer. That let to a new kind of "vindication" happiness.
Wash has been building LEGO sets. For like, a week straight.
He shows no signs of slowing down or stopping. There really is not much he can "do" anymore, and LEGO lets him build, and pretend, and be an architect again, explore his Steampunk side, and he can happily regress to top! They're pretty perfect for him.
We had a few guests come by, it was nice to catch up with my friends.
I am saddened that everyone else seems to "grow up"; they graduate, they get engaged or married, they get pregnant, they buy a house, they have their first child, move for a new career, GROW.
They have the oppertunities for everything I *can't* have.
I am 25 still.
I didn't graduate, I don't know now if I ever will. Wash and I tried, but 3 miscarriages was the closest I ever came to that "life step". We have so much debt, I don't even dream of owning a house or property in the future.
My life is caring for my husband until he dies.
That's the part I can't see.
I can't imagine a future with *me* in it either.
Lost Tashi today.
/Good news, down to Advil only for the toe pain. Which is ok as long as I'm not standing or walking for more than 30 mins. 2-3 more weeks with a cane though.