Friday, April 27, 2012


Hard morning for us both.

Wash woke this morning a bit panicked. He was very confused with what day is it today, who is coming over, what day is it again?, No there's stuff to do!
He got very very angry at/with me when I tried to correct him/give him info on today.

I had to ask him to sit in his "Cool Down Chair" twice this am.

Heavier on the am Xanax too.

I hate the days he doesn't remember. He knows who he is, but the rest is scary details he only faintly remembers.
He knows someone from Hospice is coming over today, but it's not his normal CNA so even explaining that just confuses him more. Same with a new Hospice nurse this afternoon.

I need extra patience on days like these. He's mentally a scared 3-5 year old in the body of a sick 27 year old.
But I always have to be the adult.

It's scary, it's not fair, and it's not fun.


  1. Neither scary, fair, fun nor nice. :(

    I am sorry.

    One thing that might help is displaying some kind of visual schedule - with pictures, and/or symbols, and/or key words to try and improve the chances that Wash will be able to take in enough information to feel a little safe (plus, they can be checked and rechecked without needing to ask you again). The most simple visual schedules show just 'what is happening now' and then 'what is happening next' but obviously it can go all the way up to a fully-laid-out day's worth with time slots, the works.

    Sending thoughts of strength and support.

  2. I can't imagine what you are going through. The very definition of scary and terribly, completely unfair :(

    Wishing you peace as you forge ahead on this journey that you did not choose. Though it is of little solace, know that there are people out in the world pulling for you. <3