Thursday, May 31, 2012

The in-between

All things staying the same, Wash will go into a Hospice Respite home/facility Fri (tomorrow) morning through Monday afternoon, planned.

I am too numb, scared, tired, relieved, and nervous to process more than that.
My mother and I toured the facility today, it was very nice and should meet his needs, if not all his desires.

I have a list, but I cannot pack his things yet. I'm not ready. A few more hours won't matter.

Rationally, I know this is the right thing to do for us both, however much it emotionally hurts to be away.


  1. Try to just breathe and know that for a short while, others will help both you and Wash. No one takes care of him as well as you but it will be alright.

  2. Huge hugs Tashi. You are not alone in this.. many have had to walk the same road. You are strong. You are loved. My wish for you is a good long, uninterrupted sleep, and time to think. {{more hugs}}

  3. Try to enjoy your weekend, I know that must be a challenge knowing he will be away... :/

  4. #1) When I worked as a Charge Nurse in a Skilled Nursing Facility for a few months----(i.e., before I returned to college on my G.I. Bill, as a Returning Adult Student)----and where I comforted totally exhausted, elderly women/men, as we admitted their very frail, sick, and/or weak spouses TO our 24/7 care, I *so remember* saying, Tashi, particularly to elderly wives about their husbands, "I know how completely WORN-OUT you are, but I just want you to know that all of us nurses here are going to be a 'fresh set' of hands, i.e., to take care of (_____) FOR YOU here; and we're going to have eyes that aren't as tired as yours are, i.e., to 'watch over' (_____) FOR YOU here; and we're going to have backs that aren't as painfully 'bad' as your poor back is, i.e., so that we can get (_____) in-and-out-of bed FOR YOU here. We'll honestly try our very, VERY *best* to take good care of (_____) here............ just like you would WANT him to be taken care of, you know."

    My wish and my prayer is that the nurses, and the other good folks, in the Hospice Respite Facility there will also do the same FOR YOU, too, Tashi, i.e., for the 3 1/2 days that Wash is there.

    #2) Completely BEFORE Wash's brain cancer diagnosis had occurred............ if you had, say, just theoretically "Set Up The Scene" for Wash, i.e., of what's actually happening, right now, in your & Wash's lives............ wouldn't Wash............ (being the fun-loving, but very *A.N.A.L.Y.T.I.C.A.L.* geek; and strong, bold Browncoat and Scotsman that he is)............ have wanted, as he might've said, "To PROTECT My Lady Tashi, At All Costs"............ i.e., EVEN IF that meant "taking her leave" for 3 1/2 days??

    YOU are brave (and correct, Tashi) in arranging for this with the Hospice Respite Facility............ WASH is brave and correct in (more-or-less-resignedly) agreeing to do this with the Hospice Respite Facility.

    This----(yes, ~ E.V.E.N. ~ T.H.I.S.!!)----is indeed part of............ *Wash & Tashi's Extraordinary Love Story*, you know.

    #3) 'Have some good, LONG sleeps; and just *R.*E.*N.*E.*W.* yourself............ (your poor, numb, scared, and tired self)............ physically/mentally/emotionally, i.e., in absolutely any-and-every way that you possibly, POSSIBLY CAN, over these next 3 1/2 days.

    {{{*Hugs*}}} to you and Wash both -