Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Creedence

Another bad night.

He passed out sometime close to 3am. I was up til 4.


He was just so confused and angry last night. He wanted to sleep alone.


This morning his meltdown was because he forgot how to work a dryer. "Settings? What are settings??"

More Hospice folks over today. More pills. More memories forgotten.


I woke up without him next to me this morning. So hollow inside.
Fucking cancer.

Thank you R. for the humor book- was the only thing yesterday I could laugh at.

3 comments:

  1. I really wish there was something tangible I could do. I know I don't *know* you guys but I feel like I do.

    All I can do is let you know that you have a lot of people thinking about you. It may not make the hard days easier but you have as much virtual support as you need.

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  2. Thank you for continuing to post. As an medical provider I work to put myself in my patients shoes. These post help me to remember what really fucking matters. The people not the profit.

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  3. On those *a.w.f.u.l.* nights when Wash wants to sleep alone,(i.e., because he's so confused and angry); then you wake up without him next to you in the morning, hollow and lonely inside............ (and I honestly don't mean to "butt-into" your married couple's privacy here, at all, Tashi)............ but maybe you can~~(later in the day, when Wash isn't so confused/angry)~~simply snuggle together for a while............ to hopefully "erase" a little bit of that hollowness and loneliness from your heart, at least temporarily, you know.

    I'm thinking of you & Wash............ praying for you & Wash............ and also a.c.h.i.n.g. for you & Wash, too. You're not alone, Tashi.

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