I've been trying to let myself get used to the idea of a team to help, and actually letting others take over some of the work that I've literally given myself over to for two years.
The emotional stress though for this, is much much less than dealing with everything on my own.
I'm tired today, but a lot more hopeful for the two of us.
Hospice has even helped to give us a real fucking proper husband and wife date. I'm looking forward to that immensely.
Wash and I fell asleep last night to a production of "MacB---" (The Scottish Play)
I'm trying to remember the emotional pain is not "caused" by Hospice, but by the negative connotations most people have with that word. This is the best step for us both, as hard as it may be.
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It might help to remember that the original definition of the word "hospice" meant "a place for travellers to rest" (especially the poor), and was used to describe the free, open-to-all area that Medieval monasteries kept for people on the road. The word "hospitaler" was used to describe the monk or nun who managed that part of the monastery compound.
ReplyDeleteYou guys have been on a very long journey. Now is your time to rest, whether it's for another leg of the journey or for good.
Additionally, hospice nurses all know, (i.e., as David Viscott said), that "To LOVE and BE LOVED"----(in this case, in regard to the lives *o.f.* their hospice patients)----"is to feel the sun from both sides."
ReplyDeleteSo, hospice nurses will now kindly and therapeutically #1) Help Wash to (continue to) function - which includes "to love" - to his greatest capacity; and ............ #2) They will also help Wash to (continue to) "be loved," too, i.e., by compassionately easing some of the tremendous caregiving load ............ that you've very-devotedly been handling - (all by yourself, Tashi!!) - for the past 2+ long years.
Prayers for, and (((*hugs*))) to, you and Wash both ~