Saturday, March 9, 2013

Shabbat Shalom!

I have some melancholia in my bones today.

Are anniversaries still something to bring up, to celebrate, if there is no one to celebrate for/with?

My wedding anniversary is next week.
Pi day, of course.

I'm a widow. Am I allowed an anniversary, still? What, if anything is there to celebrate? My husband's death? I'm not that morbid.
The 6 or so weeks of marriage we had before the tumor grew so big it began to change him?
The few months we took to secretly plan an elopement?

Celebrating dreams and ideas that will never happen? The home never built. The children never to be born.

The cats and I have decided staying in bed and crying is the best move.

It doesn't seem real today. That he is gone.

Tomorrow is Sunday. That was his Gaming Day.
Too many memories today of loss.
Too many.

1 comment:

  1. I firmly believe it is right to celebrate your anniversary. My mum left us 3 years ago and my Dad still buys her flowers on their anniversary and takes the time to remember the memories they had together. I'm sorry you have to celebrate your time together without him...