Hospice is sending someone over to talk to me on Friday.
So. Just have to make it to then.
I've gone back a bit. Minute-by-minute now, trying to exist.
I never knew how exhausting it was to feel so empty, alone, grieving.
Life continues, for all others.
I haven't figured out how to stop thinking about the person I had expected to spend MY life with. How to stop all those thoughts that come up when you love someone, and marry, and think about what the future could bring.
How to stop or quiet down the Gaius-in-my-head.
I'm tired of hurting and feeling nothing at the same time.
I don't have trust in Life anymore.