Tuesday, March 12, 2013


6 months.

like healing from a heart transplant that did not happen.

I can walk again, catch my breath most days.

But it feels like being post-surgical. I'm still walking around with a giant hole inside of me.
Like a much much MUCH poorer (and probably sadder and lonelier) Tony Stark.

 Everything is different but it feels like so much has remained the same.

I miss my husband. I miss his company, his jokes, his kisses, his hugs, his laugh, and I miss my best friend.
He was.

I don't have that with anyone anymore.

I do not bore of the company of myself, but I do not wish to remain alone for 360 days a year on say, the Isle of Skye or Mann. That is not a life for me either.

It is quiet here. Disconcerting to me.


  1. You are in my thoughts. I can only hope that that hole in your chest heals, bit by broken bit.. and though it will leave a horrible, terrible scar, that it will close.

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