Wash had a much better day today, and in turn I did as well.
I let him sleep in an extra hour in the morning, and he felt strong enough to actually go downstairs and eat breakfast at our table. That happens every few months or so, it was quite nice for me.
He also said he was in much less physical pain today than yesterday, so that seemed to contribute in a positive way.
My mum came and talked to me for a couple hours yesterday while our Social Worker stayed with Wash. He has a medical background as well, so I do not have to worry about Wash's level of care. I got a chance to vent about a lot of things, and just ponder some questions I do have to answer, at least to myself.
Had some of Wash's frat bros come over in the evening to help me watch him and do a few errands. I'm finding that asking for help is not a terrible thing, even if my brain thinks so, and Wash really responds well to company and stimuli that is not just, well, me.
So, today went a lot happier for us both. We had some more good talks with our SW, and Wash had his hair cut and beard trimmed by his CNA who came over in the afternoon. We even got in an episode of NOVA and he managed to stay awake through the whole thing. Then he crashed for about 2 hours.
There are some moments I live in 15 minute increments. Some nights I am tired enough that I do just fall to sleep instead of burning my brain thinking all night long.
I have to remember I do not bear this alone. There are other who have walked before me, and some who can share with me now. It is hard, hard often to remember this, but I have to.
He will be my husband until death. Parts of him might change or be lost, but he is still mine. He still fought and came back from death twice for me. I can mourn, but I cannot let myself forget.