update

Took yesterday off work; had to spend about 5-6 hours dealing with DES/ our insurance company etc. Was not fun at all. I might lose my insurance in 2 days now.

It's been kinda hard lately. My immediate family has pretty much said "frak you" to me and giving me any support. My own mum right now has to deal with "her issues first" and can't be there for me, and she's "sorry you think *you're* sick" for me.

I don't *think* mom. I was in the hospital. I had a fraking organ removed. And part of my liver. It hurts still. My own doctors tell me to take it easier because even they know what physically I have gone through.

So, it hurts. Wash has been working so hard though to make me feel loved and wanted and cared for. I just worry what will happen when he's gone?

Woke up early this morning from my nightmare- feel like my stomach is just pure acid and yuck.

Can't even think about work really. I don't know what's going to happen with me or my job or what? I have to work or we can't live. I have to watch Wash or he won't live. I can't work full time or we lose health coverage.
It's a fairly horrid spot to be in.

My bright happy spot so far has been to get more plants, veg, fruits to put and expand my garden- yay. Also, my cousins are in town this week- trying to see them.
And best news of all, my eldest bro is coming in from Japan for about 4 days to see us! It's been about 2 years since I last saw him- he hasn't even met Wash in person ever! I miss my bigger brother a LOT, so this makes me quite happy.

It's just everything else I worry about.