Wednesday, March 31, 2010

No what I don't have time for?

Other people's drama and shit.

There is so much on me, so much responsibility- I just cannot do what has to be done and deal with some people [who are around me] crap they throw on me.
Really, I have enough of my own.

Each day brings some new twisted nightmare for us. For every step forward we get, Life tosses us back 3.

I don't have the time or energy or even the care about your issues. I'm not going to "be the bigger person" this time. I always do, and now, I can't. There is far more important things for me to do right now than to satisfy someone's craving for a personal jihad against my behaviour.

You know, in a few months or hopefully years- after I bury my husband - maybe then I can take the time to tease back with extra drama.

But for now? No, my life already has far more than I ever need.
Facing being widowed well before turning 30 tends to do that to you. Makes you focus and re-prioritize.

Right now here's what's on my plate- MY choices;
*keeping the husband alive
*making sure husband has health insurance
*making sure his insurance pays for and covers his chemo meds and dr visits and lab work
*making sure I have health insurance
*making sure my insurance pays for my hospital and operation and medication
*making sure I keep my job
*pay all bills- on time
*keep the house up
*keep food in the house
*keep food stamps so we can have food in the house
*take care of the car
*make sure I take care of myself and heal ok from surgery
*spend as much time as possible in a good way with my husband and love of my life

Something's gotta give there, and frankly, adding anything more is daunting. This is 250 hours of work a week.
Something's gotta give.

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