Friday, December 25, 2009


I really do think so far this has been the worst Christmas ever. Even counting in the time I was 5 or so and really sick over it.
See, my mum uninvited me to Christmas morning at her house. Wash did his best of course to try and get things settled just for a day, as it may be his last Christmas and he's not really looking for material things. He wanted time with family.
Well, that got fucked.
I didn't hear a word from her all week. Not a peep or text. We go over there today, he and I.

I left after two hours or so. I couldn't stop crying. Kinda sucked ass. I didn't even open presents. I let Wash open the joint ones for us, and mine are all packaged up still now under my tree here at home.
Wash is still over there spending time.

I got in the car and just drove. I made it close to 60 miles towards Cali. I did turn back.

I think tomorrow morning when I wake up I'm going out shopping and picking up orange rolls. That's the tradition. Except they were all having french toast this year. I fraking hate change. I want my bloody orange rolls. My Father-in-law did help me out and showed me how to change out a blown fuse in my car. I popped the radio/rear defroster this week. However, it's all fixed and what's more, I can do it myself next time. Ha. Love learning things like that.

I don't think I have really been this depressed in years. I try, but it's just so hard to keep positive now, or to be optimistic. The joys in my life are being stripped away from me - seems almost every day now.
This has just changed everything, changed our lives- our life together so much. See above re: change.

Happy Christmas all.

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