Monday, November 12, 2012
Hard to say
Just a note to my friends;
I do not have the "Science" channel.
I have not seen the Firefly/Browncoat reunion.
I have no plans TO see the reunion special.
I am trying so hard to not keep that in the front of my mind; that Wash (my Wash) missed seeing this by 2 months.
So far, I am failing at that.
It is like trying to run away from the sky... cannot be done. Even if one hides, the sky is still there.
I am aware the special is out there.
It hurts in ways I cannot even begin to describe that Wash was not alive to see this.
It does not feel right, or good, or happy to even try to watch it without him.
I will probably be minimally online until I feel emotionally stronger.
Until I know I can pull up a page without seeing the Cast, without being confronted in my face with another memory I could not have with my Wash.