Tomorrow I have a video interview (my first!) at 10am.
With a college admissions coordinator in Israel.
I hopefully will find out if I have been accepted into a summer college programme.
Before I go off on premature plans, or more information, I will say this.
I am scared.
Terrified.
Anxious.
Filled with trepidation.
I am also hopeful.
Hopeful I have friends near and far who can help me with logistics.
Hopeful I might get in.
Hopeful I might begin to find the "me" that was given to "we" when I married.
Hopeful this might be a good change for who I am and have been.
Hopeful this might let me start walking again. Looking forward.
Hopeful I may again remember passions, and desire for learning.
Hopeful I could survive (short term) without my cats, my only Companions left.
Hopeful I can adapt to the potential change, the new-ness, the shuffle of my routine.
Hopeful I might make new friends.
Hopeful I may even meet another (young) widow.
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow morning, if you would.
I am hopeful if everything can come together, this might be what I truly need to find life, and begin to see where my own will go.
I have not been able to think about my future for 4 years. It is daunting, but I am growing to see it can empower me.
Down the Rabbit Hole I Go!
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Scared and hopeful is good! Choosing to change and push ahead is terrifying but you can do it! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI'll be thinking of you tomorrow. I hope everything goes well.
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