A Fellowship

I got out tonight! I went out, and socialized, and shared, and made at least one new friend (hopefully).
Feeling a little proud of myself.
I am anti-social.
I have Asperger's.
I am a recent widow.
This is big.


Step by step, hour by hour, day by day; I am rebuilding my sense of self. I am allowed to be proud for trying something new, for putting myself in an unknown situation, and for enjoying it.

I do not know how tomorrow will go (though I actually hope to have some good and exciting news!) but I know that today I tried, and when I eventually get to sleep and wake up on Tues, I have another chance to try to live for myself.

Every day is hard. Not a day goes by without thoughts of Wash.
Gaius-Wash comes and goes as he will.

I want to try. I am not certain what it is, but there is a growing part of me that wants to just try instead of simply being, which is all I am right now- most days.