Afterwards

There is always love in the world.
Even if it does not know you by name.
Even if it does not come with your image.
Even if it travels from around the globe, or across the city.
Love comes from family. Friends. Partners. Soulmates.
Children can love with freedom and enthusiasm that sometimes fades as we age.
There is love for the newly born, and those departed.
There is love for the past, and for the future.

There is love in the smallest of kind acts, and love spread across millions or billions.
There is love from religion, and love from science, and atheism.

It can be hard to see the love around, sometimes. Often when we cannot hear it given directly to us.
But it exists. As surely as there is human capacity to think, reason; there is also the deepest capacity to love.

The largest appreciation

Last day the fundly donation site is open. 
I still have so many medical bills from Kevin, and so many more of my own from my broken bones last year and my own health issues. 
If you can donate anything, it helps. 
If you can share the link and our story, it helps. 
If you can give prayers or good thoughts, it helps.

I'll be filing for bankruptcy due to medical bills this year. Again, anything my caring friends, family, or those touched by the story of AZ driving a young widow into utter poverty can do; it all helps. 

Thank you all so much. 
I was Wash's (Kevin's) caregiver for more than 3 years.
Now the people who care and love me are helping to give care to me, so I can continue on with my life. 

My husband did not survive against brain cancer; but with the love, help, social, emotional, religious, and other support from my circle I can survive this next part of my life as a Widow.

A good night

Drinking wine?
That's a Sedar.
Sharing the Story of the Exodus and the Chosen People's freedom from bondage?
That's a Sedar.
Eating way too much wonderful food?
That's a Sedar.
Getting home at midnight, after inviting Elijah in?
Oh, you better believe that's a Sedar.




With my usual Jewish family members travelling or working right now, I went over to Chabad this week for Passover. 
I am glad I did. 

It feels good to come home - if not happy, then at the very least, with more Hope than I have had in the past few days. 
The company around me tonight certainly helped as well. I am ever thankful for my friends. For (even a little) local support. 

Crossposting

Feel free to go and read my latest article over at P-Mag if you would like.

For those who are coming to my blog for the first time; a nice history and summation is to the side in the links, or you can start from my starting place back in 2009.

For those who are here who have been widowed themselves, or lost someone they loved to brain cancer; I truly am sorry for your loss.
I strive to live up to (it was ours first, Wash and I) the title of this blog;
Every day I have to learn how to Hope.

Trick or Treat

**Edited**

I have decided that on the off chance I have trick or treaters tomorrow night, the first one over in costume gets a full size chocolate bar.
Good chocolate too.

Tootsie pops (normal ones, not those tiny shitty ones) for every one else who might come.
This will be my 5th Halloween here and we've never had any come. I do hope this year that changes.

That kid will be SO EXCITED and probably remember Halloween forever.
The parents will either hate me for their child's sugar rush, or eat it themselves and enjoy the fuck out of it.

A Bylaw: if two children show up at once, the full size will be decided "Thunderdome" style, or if both too young; Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock.
If three or more children show up at once, whoever had the costume on that would win in a fight with the other costumes/characters will take it.
I'm hoping I get a Hulk. Even better if there are little girls dressed as superheroes.

Arigato Gozaimashta

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bUDPi5lnbA&feature=colike