Cat-Lady

I left my computer unlocked when I left for physical therapy today.

When I came back, Aelphie was sleeping sooooo innocently on the computer chair.


Apologies for anyone who was on the Google-Reader list who got some nonsense today; either she loafed on the keyboard where it was warm, or the cats chased each other across it.

They worked me out for about an extra 40 minutes today at PT; now that my foot is officially "not broken" I can move from balance/strength training to muscle/strength building since my legs and hips are weaker from having been in a Boot/off my feet this summer/fall.

So, sadly, it was not my "last" physical therapy this week, but I'm improving a ton!


I had a FedEx delivery last night (not a costume) but I gave him some candy.
I had only ONE child Trick or Treat-er but she was an adorable little bumblebee and she got the full size bar. Her mum seemed to like it. The little girl had possibly the biggest eyes since Aelphie when she saw her "treat".
That was pretty awesome, I really do hope she remembers this Halloween. "One year, this lady gave me a WHOLE NORMAL SIZED CHOCOLATE BAR! Not that "fun size" shit!"

Untitled

In some moments it hits me like a car going 35 MPH.

I just had a conversation out loud.
With myself.
Because I live alone now.
My husband died. I can talk, but he's not going to answer anymore.

I'm so used to telling him everything.
Now, I'm talking to myself/the cats.

Part of my new "normal".

Leto, being adorable

Had some nightmares again last night, but I was able to control them more.
I woke up feeling better than I have in a while.

Still broke down and sobbed for a bit in the shower this morning.

The cats have been cuddly lately. Super cute. Needy. I'm ok with this, and spoiling them right now. Maybe we all need it.

My friend R* is here from the Pacific North West on work, and then she's spending the weekend with me before she leaves.
We've known each other for years.
She knew Wash.
She's also lost someone close to her to (a different kind) brain cancer.
So, she knows.

Hour by hour, some worse than others, but I just hold on to Hope that somehow it will start to get better, at some point.
I still Hope it will.

Waiting on the Giggle Loop

Hard morning.

First Monday; first start of a week (and New Year) without the man I expected to spend my life with.

I'm hoping to bring him home today.

I feel too young today. Too young, too hurt.

It's like the most perverted cultural opposite; this time I will be carrying his ashes over our threshold.

How does one even prepare for that moment?

I've been trying to be/sleep at home more. Some nights I can do it, some nights I cannot.

It hurt waking up today.

It hurt to hear the kitties cry. They have food, water, litter.

They just miss their Dad. I do too.

Aelphie and I had each other for a few years before Wash came around. It took her most of a year to even accept him.

Leto has only EVER known life with his dad. His whole existence has been keeping his dad company through the day. It hurts to see them confused and not have the words to let them know he is not coming back.

I have good moments and bad. Good minutes, bad hours.

I hear the ticking of Wash's pocketwatch. I've been keeping it wound for him.

Tick-Tick-Tick-Tick.

One, two, three, four.

He still carries my heartbeat.

I'm wondering if I should watch Firefly, BSG, Doctor Who, or Torchwood for him today.

That Face

His Highness

My cat is my baby. And is hilarious; a 2 year old juvie Maine Coon.
Laughing my butt off right now; Leto is trying SO HARD to flip the light-switch in the hallway. He's tried jumping straight up, and leaning over from the fan to reach it; and falling off the fan every time. The most entertaining part is the switch is down, so even though he can reach the panel, he can't switch it to "up"!

Valentine Anniversary

I am also a Cat-Lady.

On 14th February 2012 my little cat turned 7 years old.

She's been my constant companion and most loyal friend for 7 years.

Happy Birthday Aelphaba Shadowplayer Pratt-King. May the Lords of the Catgods give me 7 more years to enjoy with you.

And may you enjoy like the best thing on Earth your can of tuna today.