Thus Begins

I love my home. I (for the most part) love my city. I love being this close to my downtown, being able to walk to our main street (Mill Avenue) and the Lake.

Except for about 10 days a year. 4th of July, Christmas Parade, The first week of a new semester, and New Year's Eve.

There is an annual "Block Party" which attracts 40-100,000 people per year.

There is free music.

Fireworks!

I frakking hate it.

It's 10am right now. They've started playing music. It's over 4 blocks away and the bass is loud enough I can frakking FEEL it. It's only going to get louder over the next 14 frakking hours.

People park illegally. We caught a couple last year who parked on our LAWN in a mini-van and were having sex! We have had people drive fast on the blind curve at the end of our street and hit /totaled 3 cars. Beer cans are left EVERYWHERE. Glass is left in the streets to shred tires. The city does not clean up my street nor do they even cone it off to allow for just resident parking. I've brought it up before in City Council meetings as the neighbourhood one block south of us is allowed for resident parking only and they do not have the same problems we do.

I'm feeling awful from my shots.

The bass is driving me mad. I want to cry. Even sitting in my closet does not help.

Not a fun day to be my flavour of Aspergian.

Eventually I will find a place or a friend and wisely spend my New Years at that location. For now, I'm just going to be super cranky all day and probably be popping all day (my 'tic' is a verbal sound close to a "pop" I make. I'm usually unaware of it, Wash notes it though.)

Dear Readers, and New Readers,

Just please be safe out there today/tonight. Have plenty of fun, but be safe. Have a designated driver or call for a FREE ride; link below is for all 50 states with programs.

I have worked in a morgue before. PLEASE have fun, but not at the cost of a life.

http://duijusticelink.aaa.com/for-the-public/aaas-role/public-education/sober-ride

I will write to you all in a New Year.

Cheers!

I think she's crazy

Nothin' in this town tonight but a bunch of savages.

What's the quickest way for me to lose my shit?

Seeing a whole bunch of people passively doing illegal shit and not caring. See: Driving/Parking

Second stop of the night and I'm looking for parking downtown. Normally this is not an issue- there is a handicapped lot that was right across from where we were going.

Lot was packed full.

Of cars with no handicapped decals/plates.

We managed to find a place at the very very very very end of the lot. As we were walking back from the quick 5 min errand I spotted another non-decaled car parked in the RAMP for one of the spaces. The car next to us was a giant SUV taking up almost 2 spaces no plate or decal and the driver was sitting in it eating food out of a take-away service.

I yelled at her through her window.

Then blocked her in while I took a photo of her plate and called the cops.

For those lucky enough to actually NOT NEED a handicapped spot- having one and parking further away is often the difference between Wash getting to go out on an errand and him saying "Honey, it's just too far, I can't go."

I never parked in those spaces before Wash was sick-AND- had his decal. I still don't if Wash is not with me. I cannot imagine the teenage like self ego involved in people who take the spaces reserved for those in our society who literally cannot make due without them.

The third stop of the night involved me lugging water across a parking lot- someone abandoned a car on one side of the Watermill and a middle age man had parked his SUV across 3 lanes on the other side- with his doors left open so his 3 young children could run around the car.

At 9 o'clock at night.

I asked him if he could move or even close a door/keep his children from running in a frakkin' parking lot.... he then switched from speaking English with his girls to saying "Que?" to me.

Savages. Bunch of fucking savages in this town.

I'm writing this in hopes of letting go of this anger.

I have Asperger's. I really cannot STAND people pulling shit.

It feels like little pricks stacking up and building in intensity to a point where my brain literally physically hurts- it's not like a normal headache, like there is just this pressure/aura in the very center of my brain and it expands the more I can see disorder in the social stratae. So many small things that add up until it feels like I cannot function in all the disorder that has been created- the rules are what I live and ride on and it feels like my brain gets derailed when I actually go out into the world.

SIGH.

Time to cuddle with my kitties and my guy.

Let go of my hatred of disorder, of the people causing it, try to accept I cannot change or fix everything in the world, even in my own city.

Growin' up Aspie's is hard.