Widowhood

Everything hurts and I just want to wake up to this whole thing being a dream.
How can he be gone? It doesn't feel real.

I've been crying all day. Nothing feels real. It can't be that my husband is now in a box.
It all hurts. Breathing even.
I want to not be sad. I want my husband to hold me. I want a kiss. I want him to embrace me and just be there. Be here.

Nothing makes sense.