Thursday, August 21, 2014

Numb

3 weeks to the Deathaversary.

I may have to take a big social and media break. I am just having too many flashbacks and hard emotions and PTSD symptoms coming and flaring up.

My Ga├»us-Wash has been around more. I hear his voice and smell him when I wake. 
I am just trying to fake being normal right now and hide the pain that is making me seek whatever numbness I can find.

I need to update this site.
I need to see less photos of him, and more. I want to hear the stories of him from friends, even the ones I have heard before.
I need to know he is not forgotten. 


I need to have myself accept truly, he is for the ages now. He belongs to time and the universe, to no mortal being. 
He is both mine, and not. 

He is Stardust.

I cannot say "goodbye".
Allons-Y, Wash. 
Allons-Y, my Time Lord.